When I first came to Singapore, I thought it was going to be a wonderful adventure. I believed I was about to begin a bigger and more exciting life here. I imagined that I would meet people I loved, find a group of friends I truly cared about, and build a better life in this city.

But reality did not turn out that way.

I met a lot of “friends,” but they were not the kind of friends I was looking for. I found myself facing a much bigger world with many different social groups, yet I could not truly fit into any of them. Even when I tried to pretend that I was part of a group, I gradually started to dislike the person I was becoming.

After living in Singapore for several years, I became more introverted and shy. I did not have a close friend whom I could truly trust. I also experienced some disappointments in my relationships. Most of the people around me were only classmates, not real friends.

Eventually, I gave up on the idea of finding close friendships or meaningful relationships. I started to fall into a sense of meaninglessness.

I thought, “People will leave one day anyway. Friendships and relationships may eventually disappear. Nothing lasts forever, and everything will be gone in the end. So why should I still care so much?”

This feeling can be especially strong in a big and international city like Singapore. You meet people from different countries who speak different languages and come from different cultural backgrounds. At school, you may study together for one semester. But once the class ends, you may never see each other again for the rest of your life.

I found this truth brutal, even though I knew it was sometimes unavoidable.

I felt lonelier than ever. I closed myself off, stopped sharing my stories, and hid my emotions. I pretended that I was okay, but deep inside, I knew that I had lost something very basic. I no longer felt a real connection with other people.

Later, I realised that I was not the only person going through this.

In a highly developed society, people can survive more independently than ever before. We have more resources, technology and convenience. In the past, the world was more dangerous, and many people lived in poverty. People had to stay together and depend on one another to survive.

In our parents’ generation, people often had more relatives, neighbours and old classmates around them. They had people they could talk to. When they felt low, someone might be willing to listen, support them or comfort them. Their connections often felt more direct, sincere and caring.

But nowadays, we are constantly told to achieve personal success. We are told that the world is developed, technology is advanced, and we can survive alone as long as we work hard enough.

As a result, everyone keeps chasing the next goal.

After high school, you go to university, and your high school friends slowly leave your life. After university, your next goal is to find a decent job, and your university friends may also move on. We are all forced to stay busy and keep working towards something.

But while chasing our goals, we often lose our connections with other people.

Maybe something happens and the only people you can talk to are your parents. But what happens when you have a conflict with your parents and you also have no close friends to turn to?

You may start to suppress your emotions and push them into your subconscious mind. This may be one reason why so many people are experiencing loneliness, depression and other mental health struggles.

After all, we are human beings. Our brains and bodies developed around social groups. In ancient times, people needed to live together to find food, care for one another and protect themselves from wild animals and other dangers.

Even though society has changed, our basic emotional needs have not changed that much. We still need connection, support and a sense of belonging. Living completely alone was never really part of the way humans developed.

However, when many people face loneliness today, they stay at home, scroll through social media all day and close themselves off from the outside world. But the more they isolate themselves, the emptier and lonelier they may feel.

It is difficult for most people to deal with a complicated world, painful emotions and personal struggles completely on their own. Sometimes, we need support from outside ourselves. We need real connections with other people.

When you feel unhappy, you need someone you can talk to. By sharing your feelings, you can release some of the emotional pressure inside you.

That is why empathy and active listening are so important. Sometimes, people do not need someone to solve all their problems. They simply need someone who is willing to stay, listen and make them feel that they are not alone.